As a graduate student, I took conference presentations very seriously. I was usually finished acquiring data by the time I wrote the abstract (~6 months prior to the conference); I would make my talks 2-3 weeks in advance; I would practice them 3-5 times privately before practicing in front of my group; Revisions were always done by the time I left for a conference, but I would continue practicing all the way up to the time of the talk.
Yes, I tended to be very prepared. Such preparation typically eased my fears about making an ass out of myself once on stage, a young and inexperienced speaker in front of hundreds of strangers. My right leg would always shake like a motherfucker behind the podium, but the only thing that was ever visible to my audience was a Ph.D. student who had her shit together.
But I'm rather rusty. I haven't presented at a conference in two years.
And, somehow, I'm not as obsessive about over-preparation as I used to be. I only finished collecting data for the conference yesterday, and I haven't even started making my slides. I leave for the conference on Friday. Yikes. I don't know whether to be impressed with myself for chilling the fuck out (I credit the Celexa, as always) or whether to be horrified that I'm turning into something like those last-minute advisors that we all know and love.
What is with my total and utter flippancy? I'm surprised at myself. Not impressed, but surprised. I'll be impressed if and only if I pull this off with my usual grace.
I'm trying to convince myself that with experience comes expediency, and so it's only natural for me to require less time to put these things together. But I go to so many shitty presentations by senior speakers, I'm just not exactly buying that explanation, either.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
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12 comments:
Have you ever given a presentation on this particular topic before?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, NO. Unless you count group meeting or the fact that I have to meet with new postdocs in my group every goddamn week and give them a half-hour schpeel on what I'm doing. You could say I'm very well-versed in speaking the terminology of my field, but I haven't practiced a formal presentation.
I know, I need to get my shit together.
That doesn't sound so good. I've been down to the wire before, but not quite that close. And in those cases I've had something started and just had to put in the missing parts.
But good luck! I'm sure you'll pull it together in the end and do a great job. Let us know how it goes.
I think the worst thing about being less prepared is that it seems to make the nervousness so much freaking worse. At least you've had experience presenting the info. somewhere, even if only at group meetings. I wish you the best of luck in getting your shit together and delivering a great presentation. :)
I was like what you described in your grad. student days, except I was a grad. student slightly before the rise of giving talks directly off the laptop- the physical "foils" had to be done and printed before the trip. Now, I am less prepared and just tend to keep faith in the little extra "magic" that a live audience brings...
I find the more I prepare, the more I freak out about it. I guess because it gives me more time to think about every single thing I'm saying.
I wonder if it's a case of non-PhD versus PhD for you? When we are grad students, we don't want to say even 1 little thing wrong for fear of looking stupid. Once we have that PhD, it doesn't matter so much (not that feeling stupid doesn't matter, but I don't think we are judged nearly as harshly as when giving a talk as a grad student).
Good luck getting everything together!
The last time I did this, thinking it was a small conference and no one there mattered anyway, Dr. FamousWoman was in the audience and I wished I had prepared more. Sigh.
I've had this happen to me. It's weird, I'm not sure why, but sometimes I'm just not excited or nervous enough to get motivated. Maybe I've convinced myself that no one really cares what I do, or there's no obvious payoff for doing well. Like Aurora said, whenever this has happened in the past, I regretted not preparing more earlier. Even if it went well enough, I always knew I could have done better if I had approached preparation with the same vigor as some other talks I've given that went extremely well. So, do whatever you gotta do to kick your own ass into gear. It will be worth the time you put into it. Let's put it this way: have you ever given a talk that went well and thought, "Wow, preparing that was a total waste of time"? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I'm nearing the end of my Ph.D. and spend less and less time on these things in general. Something like a conference talk can still inspire some good practicing, but a lab meeting presentation? Ha - not gonna happen. Or a committee meeting presentation? HA HA HA.
I'm fairly sure that the grad student experience has gotten me to the point where I'm unfazed by pretty much everything. I'm so stressed on such a constant basis that I've become completely tolerant. This is great when I've got fifty millions deadlines (all the time) and still need to sleep, but not so good for preparing things I actually NEED to prepare...
I make lists of the bits of things that need to get done. Looking at a long list will get your ass in gear.
I think you'll do very well and get the right balance. I don't think you would have written the post if you were just letting your ego bust open your jeans. It seems more like experience and confidence are governing this one! Good luck!!
I don't prepare shit until a few days before and I always come out golden. Then again, I am starting to amass some stock slides...
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