A veterinarian here at Brilliant U. has been teaching me the ins and outs of a particular surgical procedure. I had never dealt with him before, and quickly found that, in addition to being quite helpful to me, he seems to have some very interesting verbal mannerisms.
Most of the time, he calls me 'Doc'. As in, "Okay, Doc, now it's time to don the sterile gloves."
Which was pretty cool, cuz nobody ever calls me doctor. And this was during surgery, so it was extra cool. I was getting the hang of that just fine... when all of a sudden, he slipped in a 'tiger'.
As in, "Alright, tiger, go ahead and make the incision."
What what what?!!? How on earth did we go from 'doctor' to 'tiger'? Hahahaahaaaa!!!!11!!! The vet has a great sense of humor and was very kind, so I don't mind, but I still found it hilarious. Because you know, there are plenty of names that I've heard used in professional settings, but 'tiger' has never been one of them.
My labmates find it hilarious, too, as I've taken to walking about the lab, speaking in a British accent, and calling everyone 'Tiger'. I also try to boss them around the way a surgeon does, but they won't have any of that.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Error Bars and Ethics
Lately, error bars have been on my mind. Statistical analysis of data sets with n>=4.
When I was a graduate student, I studied the effects of many different chemicals on a particular cell type. I usually had anywhere from n=4 to n=9. I would look at the data set as a whole, and throw out the outlying points. For example, if I had 4 data points with the values 4.3, 4.2, 4.4, and 5.5, I would throw out the 5.5.
Now that I am older, wiser, and more inclined to believe that I am fully capable of acquiring reproducible data, I am more reluctant to throw away the outlying data points. Unless I know there is a very specific reason why a value was off, I'll keep all of the data. This practice, naturally, results in larger error bars.
And it's occurred to me that it might not even be ethical to throw out the oddball data points. I'm really not sure. No one has ever taught me this. Any opinions out there?
My two different ways of handling data actually reflect an evolution in the way I think about biological phenomena. When I was a graduate student, I very much believed that there was a "right answer" in my experiments, and that the whole point of me collecting all of that data was to find the single right answer to my question.
But anymore, I'm not so sure that cells contain one right answer. For a lot of phenomena that I study, it's totally possible that my cells might display a range of behaviors, and who am I to demand that they decide on doing only one thing? As we all know, cells are dynamic beings, and I no longer feel bad about my 20% error bars. I've become more accepting that maybe that's just the way it is.
When I was a graduate student, I studied the effects of many different chemicals on a particular cell type. I usually had anywhere from n=4 to n=9. I would look at the data set as a whole, and throw out the outlying points. For example, if I had 4 data points with the values 4.3, 4.2, 4.4, and 5.5, I would throw out the 5.5.
Now that I am older, wiser, and more inclined to believe that I am fully capable of acquiring reproducible data, I am more reluctant to throw away the outlying data points. Unless I know there is a very specific reason why a value was off, I'll keep all of the data. This practice, naturally, results in larger error bars.
And it's occurred to me that it might not even be ethical to throw out the oddball data points. I'm really not sure. No one has ever taught me this. Any opinions out there?
My two different ways of handling data actually reflect an evolution in the way I think about biological phenomena. When I was a graduate student, I very much believed that there was a "right answer" in my experiments, and that the whole point of me collecting all of that data was to find the single right answer to my question.
But anymore, I'm not so sure that cells contain one right answer. For a lot of phenomena that I study, it's totally possible that my cells might display a range of behaviors, and who am I to demand that they decide on doing only one thing? As we all know, cells are dynamic beings, and I no longer feel bad about my 20% error bars. I've become more accepting that maybe that's just the way it is.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Crossword
Doing the crossword on the way home after a nonstop 14-hour day at work.
Clue 34 Across: Horse ____All I could think was 'shit'.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Neat Gassy Gifts
It's been a rough couple of days, people.
- I am convinced that bridal showers were invented purely as a form of torture for women. I didn't even like going to my own. I threw one for my sister this weekend, and when we took a break for dessert at present-opening halftime, these women could not lunge out of their seats quickly enough to run to their cars and leave. I don't understand why people can't just drop off their gifts and leave- this is just a present-a-thon anyway, and everyone would be happier not having to oohh and aahh over the dumb-ass bunny-shaped candy dish that Great Aunt Margaret procured from the back of her garage to force upon the newlyweds.
- My supervisor has taken to calling my ideas "neat", as in, "Isn't that a neat idea?" and "Oh, that's really neat and all, but...". Very clear patronization of his nifty little postdoc, but at least he hasn't made like NIH and labeled me as trivial and unimaginative.
- I don't know if I have the worst luck in the world, or what, but when riding very crowded public transportation, I perpetually get stuck next to someone whose personal goal is to gas out the entire bus/train by the time we get to our destination. For Christ's sake, people! Plug up your ass and spare me the stench for the 15 minutes we all have to stand crammed next to each other! I find few things in life more revolting than this. Honestly.
Friday, May 15, 2009
My Professor BFF's Start-Up Package
I was thrilled when one of my dearest friends was recently offered an assistant professorship position at a university in CandidLand. He accepted the position, and is currently caught up in the flurry of activity surrounding the beginnings of a new lab. I'm quite excited for three reasons:
My friend was hired into a specific engineering department, and he has proposed to do experimental, not theoretical, research. Start-up funding in his department is spread over two years. He asked for $500k, and was given $450k. There wasn't much room for negotiation there (I believe they cited budget constraints and said it was a totally reasonable offer from a department of their caliber). He was also given funding for 2 graduate students for 2 years each. Lab space was non-negotiable, as there is a standard lab size there of ~600 square feet. And his nine-month salary is quite good, especially compared to the starting salaries in the $60ks that I saw at my public grad university (yikes!).
All in all, I think he'll do quite well with what he's being given. Just wanted to put the details out there for those who are interested.
- He is awesome and deserves the position.
- I am stoked that I will get to enjoy him in my locale for years to come.
- Even though I have other labmates (past and present) who have taken assistant professor positions, this is the first time that a truly close friend has done so. This means that I finally have someone that I can pester to find out the truly nit-picky, behind-the-scene details of professor life in my field. He will let me in on the challenges, the politics, and all of the stuff I have always wanted to know.
My friend was hired into a specific engineering department, and he has proposed to do experimental, not theoretical, research. Start-up funding in his department is spread over two years. He asked for $500k, and was given $450k. There wasn't much room for negotiation there (I believe they cited budget constraints and said it was a totally reasonable offer from a department of their caliber). He was also given funding for 2 graduate students for 2 years each. Lab space was non-negotiable, as there is a standard lab size there of ~600 square feet. And his nine-month salary is quite good, especially compared to the starting salaries in the $60ks that I saw at my public grad university (yikes!).
All in all, I think he'll do quite well with what he's being given. Just wanted to put the details out there for those who are interested.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
On the Low End
Anyone who's been doing research for more than a few years knows that everything comes in cycles. We have our ups, and we have our downs. We hope that the ups last longer and go higher than the downs go low.
When I was a graduate student, I had little faith in this so-called cycle. I thought that my 2.5 years of failings were entirely my own fault, proof that I was subpar and not cut out to be a scientist. Fortunately, my mentors were able to convince me otherwise, and with enough persistence, I eventually emerged from the fog. But good Lord, did that down-period last an awful long time. It was terrible.
Now that I'm a postdoc, I know that these ups and downs are just part of the way it is. I've gone through little down-spells since I started my position early last year, but none like the one I'm currently battling. I just hate coming to work right now. I feel depressed about the whole thing.
By December of this past year, I'd obtained really nice results in animals that tied together an impressive story fit for publication. I was excited. But since then, I've had a really hard time getting reproducible data in animals. One week it looks great, the next week, I don't know what's happened. So another six months have gone by, and I feel like I'm no closer to getting that shit published. I need to somehow push through, do the work I don't want to do, and be done with it. But it hasn't been so easy, and I am struggling.
In the meantime, I am desperate to start up a new project. I love to do new projects in the summer, I just love summer in general. I consider it the most productive time of the year. But I can't fucking come up with something to do. I work on a certain type of technology that has the potential to treat various diseases, and all I want to do is figure out a new disease to treat. But I'm not a biologist, and I wind up reading for days and days about something, only to find out that it won't be feasible. I just feel like I'm wasting so much time. Weeks spent reading with almost nothing to show for it.
And the worst part about my down spells is that, for whatever reason, I start doubting myself. Am I not good enough? Am I not working hard enough? Maybe this 45 hours a week isn't cutting it? Maybe all of the other postdocs here are better than me? Holy shit, what will they think of my pitiful data at group meeting?!? ... And I get carried away.
Which I know is pretty much bullshit. But I take a lot of pride in my data and the fact that I generally tend to be successful, and when the data goes south, so does my mindset and sense of self-worth.
But I guess the difference between what I'm going through now and what I went through in grad school is that I know I just have to somehow motor through this. My goal is to minimize the amount of time I spend below the line of neutrality (see Figure 1).
Figure 1: Shitty times are indicated by the stripes. Graduate school was really shitty.
And while the striped area was long and drawn-out during grad school (due to the natural inclination to work less when things are going poorly), I now realize that I've got to turn this around quickly. And I'm trying to work a lot more than I want to. I'm trying to get through it. But it still hurts like a mo-fo, people. It still hurts.
When I was a graduate student, I had little faith in this so-called cycle. I thought that my 2.5 years of failings were entirely my own fault, proof that I was subpar and not cut out to be a scientist. Fortunately, my mentors were able to convince me otherwise, and with enough persistence, I eventually emerged from the fog. But good Lord, did that down-period last an awful long time. It was terrible.
Now that I'm a postdoc, I know that these ups and downs are just part of the way it is. I've gone through little down-spells since I started my position early last year, but none like the one I'm currently battling. I just hate coming to work right now. I feel depressed about the whole thing.
By December of this past year, I'd obtained really nice results in animals that tied together an impressive story fit for publication. I was excited. But since then, I've had a really hard time getting reproducible data in animals. One week it looks great, the next week, I don't know what's happened. So another six months have gone by, and I feel like I'm no closer to getting that shit published. I need to somehow push through, do the work I don't want to do, and be done with it. But it hasn't been so easy, and I am struggling.
In the meantime, I am desperate to start up a new project. I love to do new projects in the summer, I just love summer in general. I consider it the most productive time of the year. But I can't fucking come up with something to do. I work on a certain type of technology that has the potential to treat various diseases, and all I want to do is figure out a new disease to treat. But I'm not a biologist, and I wind up reading for days and days about something, only to find out that it won't be feasible. I just feel like I'm wasting so much time. Weeks spent reading with almost nothing to show for it.
And the worst part about my down spells is that, for whatever reason, I start doubting myself. Am I not good enough? Am I not working hard enough? Maybe this 45 hours a week isn't cutting it? Maybe all of the other postdocs here are better than me? Holy shit, what will they think of my pitiful data at group meeting?!? ... And I get carried away.
Which I know is pretty much bullshit. But I take a lot of pride in my data and the fact that I generally tend to be successful, and when the data goes south, so does my mindset and sense of self-worth.
But I guess the difference between what I'm going through now and what I went through in grad school is that I know I just have to somehow motor through this. My goal is to minimize the amount of time I spend below the line of neutrality (see Figure 1).
Figure 1: Shitty times are indicated by the stripes. Graduate school was really shitty.And while the striped area was long and drawn-out during grad school (due to the natural inclination to work less when things are going poorly), I now realize that I've got to turn this around quickly. And I'm trying to work a lot more than I want to. I'm trying to get through it. But it still hurts like a mo-fo, people. It still hurts.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Recruiting Graduate Students
Attention to my grad student and post-doc friends out there: Arlenna is hoping to improve the graduate recruiting in her department, and she is conducting a survey over at her place to gauge what is important to prospective students. The more data the better, so go on over and help her out by recalling your own experiences.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Wood You Like to Publish in My Journal?
The other day, my colleague received the following solicitation from the Journal of Wood Chemistry and Technology:
We all got a good laugh about this one.
With an Impact Factor of 1.000*, the Journal of Wood Chemistry and Technology focuses exclusively on the chemistry of wood, wood components, and wood products. By covering the latest advances in lignin, cellulose, hemicellulose, and extractives chemistry; wood and bark chemicals; wood-based biomaterials synthesis and characterization; and biomass conversion and utilization, the Journal is a must have. Stay on top of the latest developments in wood by subscribing today!HAHAHAhahahaha!!!! An impact factor of 1.000!!!11!!! Motherfucking wood!!!!
We all got a good laugh about this one.
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