I have attended N useless meetings during my first two months at Brilliant U., where N is greater than my age (in years). Usually, I am brought into these meetings (that have nothing to do with me or my research) because I am an expert in sub-subtopic X, and I may be able to lend a fresh perspective on what someone considers to be an interesting problem.

Typically, these meetings have two things in common:
1. I never have any idea what the hell is going on. The main players make such a show over their jargon-filled language, they may as well be speaking 13th century Icelandic. A scientific meeting with my grandmother would be more interesting.
2. There is always a discussion about pursuing "low-lying fruit".

It is the ever-present fruit comments that give me pause for further thought. I can't help but to imagine a giant tree of research, too large and dangerous for most people to climb. Suddenly, an enticing cluster of {fantasy fruit of choice} comes into view, just beyond the reach of my grabby hands. Boy, does that fruit look tasty.

Come on, people. This is Brilliant University!!! For as smart as you all think you are, SOMEONE must be able to get to the high-flying fruit. And for the love of God, why are we talking in terms of fruit???