Tourism on planet Earth

It is with great pleasure that I announce that, after a 6 month hiatus from pipettes and buffers, I have resumed experimental activities today. I could have never guessed how happy I would be about this development.


I have always found that succeeding as a researcher involves an odd combination of short periods of intense thought peppered in with long periods of repetitive, manual labor. I guess I've always found it surprising that many academics (despite being so good at using their heads) really enjoy lab work. Why is it that I get so much pleasure from something that requires so little brain power?

The simple answer: productivity (or the illusion of productivity).

I have spent several months now perusing a new body of literature, thinking deep thoughts with my right palm pressed against my sweaty forehead, wondering how I will get started, overcome by obstacles. Entire days have gone by when I haven't been able to identify a single productive element of the day, except maybe learning the definition of 'endogenous'. I have felt useless. I have felt lazy.

But today, with a swift flick of the wrist, I joyously began several long hours of pipetting. I am a little rusty; it is true. But I am busy again, and that makes me happy.

Ahh, the experimental life...
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Recently, I've been interviewing undergraduates at Brilliant University for a position working in the lab as a summer research assistant with yours truly. I had a number of well-qualified applicants, as well as one young lady who has been a little, um, misinformed. Here is a snippet of our conversation:

Undergrad: "Like, oh my god! It is so good to meet you! I'm, like, totally excited to do research!"
Candid Engineer: "I'm glad you have such enthusiasm. I see here on your resume that you previously worked in the Joe Doe lab. How long were you there?"
U: "I stuck around for, like, 4 weeks!"
CE: "Oh, I see. That is not very long. Did you not enjoy your experience in the Doe lab? What was the problem?"
U: "Well, I determined very quickly that the Doe lab was totally wrong for me! I discovered that, like, all of the lab work was totally manual and totally repetitive! I also realized that there was, like, no way for us to get a product out by the end of the year!"
CE: "Well, that is quite ambitious."
U: "I would rather say that they were unambitious! I want to help people! I don't want to sit around pipetting! I need to get my products out there! So people can, like, use them!"


At this point, I politely cautioned the delusional undergraduate that research is a time-consuming and lengthy labor of love, and that our satisfaction came in knowing that our work would eventually help people, however far off that may be. I then promptly ushered the wackaloon out the door, because I had to get back to work. I was about to write up the first, middle, and final version of a manuscript describing a set of experiments that I had devised and executed that morning, just after my coffee break but before my 10am snack. God, I am quick.
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One of my academic pet peeves is the phenomenon in which a graduate student and/or post-doc refers to his advisor as his ‘boss’. Although I truly appreciate the situations in which the advisor very clearly is the Boss (overbearing, unrelenting, merciless, etc.), I see an overabundance of examples in which researchers are entirely too flippant with their use of the word.

For me, one of the utopian dreams of academia is mutually-beneficial collaboration. The best advisor-student relationships that I have witnessed have been rooted in mutual respect, and both parties have worked together to achieve a common goal. The advisor does not boss the student around (except maybe during the first phase), but instead guides the student as s/he makes her way through the research gauntlet. I love this concept; I relish in the deliciousness of saying I work 'with' someone, whether that be my advisor, another grad student, or my undergraduate intern. I feel like the term 'boss' violates the core principles of academics, universities, and the whole Ph.D. process.


The other day, my colleagues and I were discussing our disinterest in some of the plans and goals that our supervisor has laid out for our common project. I indicated that, while I might be willing to spend some of my time working on the uninteresting research, I would choose to focus on something I found more appealing (but still related). One of my colleagues was totally flabbergasted, and yelled at me: "But Supervisor is the Boss! You will do what he says!" It was then my turn to be stunned. I shot back, "He is NOT my boss. I am here to use my own head and to contribute to this research in a valuable and meaningful way. I am NOT here to be someone's drone."

It is just so irritating that this concept of a boss has pervaded my new academic home. Is this what people really expect of me? To follow someone's orders?

Sometimes, I don't know what I'm doing here.
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Lately, I've been reflecting on the long process of obtaining my current position at Brilliant University. Only the last step of the process involved the physical interview. I actually wasn't too worried about the interview, because as a graduate student, I had witnessed more than my fair share of idiots interviewing for postdoc positions.

My grad lab usually had 2-3 postdocs at any given time, but it seemed like we were constantly interviewing to fill vacancies. We had really bad luck with the people we interviewed. These candidates would look great on paper, but when they showed up, we were the lucky recipients of lesson after lesson on what NOT to do during a postdoc interview. I thought it would be fun to count down some of the worst offenses I saw during my time as a grad student.


5. Candidate is immobilized by fear and refuses to speak except during his seminar. No one has any idea who the hell this person is, because he is mute.
4. Candidate severely criticizes work done previously and currently in the lab in which he is interviewing.
3. Candidate wears a very nice navy pinstripe suit, complimented by 4-inch gold stilettos, an enormous gold belt that jingles during movement, hoop earrings with a diameter sufficient for small mammals to jump through, and enough perfume to anesthetize everyone in the conference room. Moral of the story: If you're going to dress professionally, go all the way. Buy yourself some tasteful accessories.
2. Candidate seems very concerned about appearing to have accomplished a lot as a graduate student. Candidate gives a very long talk packed with many, many different kinds of data that she says she has collected. One of the group members is particularly interested in Graph #57, because it is very relevant to that group member's work. The group member asks a number of questions to the candidate about the graph. The candidate seems to know nothing about the graph, then admits to stealing the graph from one of her labmates! Moral of the story: Don't engage in academic dishonesty during an interview.
1. Candidate is out to lunch at a nice restaurant with several group members. Candidate is completely obnoxious and laughs uncontrollably. Candidate tells a 'hilarious' story about how he once met a black homosexual in a Cadillac on the way to church, and now he thinks all black people are gay, and he's decided he hates gay people! Moral of the story: Don't be an asshole during your interview, esp. during lunch.

So, after seeing a lot of these crazies parade through my grad lab, I felt fully confident that I could nail my postdoc interview. All I had to do was dress in a professional outfit, be willing to talk to people, avoid insulting the PI, only take credit for the work I've done, and not make any bold statements regarding race, religion, or sexual orientation! The job was mine!
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Now that I am a postdoc at Brilliant U. (for better or worse), I have been thinking more about different types of postdoctoral opportunities and the process of selecting an appropriate position. Although I am confident that I will be able to succeed in my current setting, I think a little more forethought would have been appropriate during my job search. Let’s break down the possibilities:

Give Versus Take

Advisor Takes, Postdoc Gives: In this scenario, the advisor is looking for a postdoc who is already a demonstrated expert in subtopic Q. By bringing this postdoc into the lab, the advisor will be able to capitalize on the previous knowledge of this postdoc and glean some “easy” training on subtopic Q for other students in the lab. I imagine this is a common situation in the labs of assistant or associate professors who are interested in branching into a new area of research with which they themselves are not particularly familiar. This is great for the advisor, but perhaps not so great for the postdoc (unless s/he hadn’t gotten enough of his or her grad work and wanted to do more).
Advisor Gives, Postdoc Takes: In this case, the postdoc has a general interest in the work going on in the advisor’s lab, but little to no previous experience with it. Typically, the postdoc has previously demonstrated some excellence with subtopic N, and the advisor trusts that the postdoc will have some fresh insights into subtopic P. The postdoc requires a significant amount of ‘start-up’ time in the new lab, as it is difficult to digest an entire new body of literature overnight and suddenly spew forth unique and/or head-spinning ideas. Such a circumstance can arise in a variety of labs, but usually occurs under the tutelage of an advisor who is simply interested in good science and doesn’t have a burning need to delve into any particular sub-discipline. If the postdoc is smart and creative, this is probably a win/win situation.
Degree of Mentoring Received

Too Much Attention: The advisor is either overly excitable, overbearing, or obnoxious. This kind of relationship should be completely unnecessary at the postdoctoral level, since one of the major goals of a postdoc position should be research independence.
Happy Medium: This advisor has a vested interest in the postdoc and enough time to be available for mentoring, when needed. Most likely, this advisor manages a medium-sized research group (say, 10-15 researchers). The postdoc has enough freedom to plan his or her own experiments, but can approach the advisor when additional advice or input is desirable.
Advisor? What Advisor?: This advisor is so busy and/or manages so many people, the postdoc has little to no opportunity for regular interaction. In this scenario, the postdoc is left to fend for him- or herself. This situation may result in a highly independent and capable postdoc, or it may result in a postdoc that wallows in indecision and regularly cries him- or herself to sleep. Get out of the boat. Sink or swim.

So, I guess you have to ask yourself, which set of circumstances is best for you, for your work style, and for your growth as a researcher?

Working in the lab of Extremely Famous Professor, I am in situation 2C. Right now, it is scary to be thrown into a completely new area of research with virtually no guidance from any kind of advisor-figure. I think it’s totally bizarre that I have developed a couple of random ideas about subtopic K, which I know little about, and now I just go for it! I have talked to a couple of colleagues about my plans, and they have given me their feedback and seem to think my ideas have merit. Now, I get to begin spending massive sums of money on a project that may very well fail! Extremely Famous Professor will step in just in time to tell me that I am a pathetic fool of a researcher and to throw me out on my ass. Terrific.

Ideally, I would have chosen a lab where I could have been a 2B postdoc. My problem was finding such a lab in an area that interested me. And, I have to admit, having Brilliant University on my resume certainly had its appeal. Subsequently, I was thrown overboard. Let the swimming lessons begin.

So, how about you? What kind of situation are you in? What are the pros and cons?
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Although for a long time my activity was linked to the academic world and the theme of the preservation of the environment, today I am far from the academic world and dedicated to the hotel industry and advice to hotels concerned with the care of the environment and ecological tourism. Small hotels where the concern is responsible tourism. But not everything here will revolve around ecology, hotels or the environment, but other issues that may be of my interest.

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