Harnessing Power of Bullshit


Ladies and gentleman*, it is with a squeal of delight that I inform you of the completion of my fellowship application. After toiling incessantly for the last 5 days on the beastly cryptic application, I have walked away a little bit impressed with my ability to bullshit like a pro. Although it seemed like a lot of work, it took significantly less effort than it would have a couple of years ago.

The downside to working on such an optimistic, fudge-filled piece of writing for such a long stretch of time is that I'm having trouble letting go of my 'application speak' in normal conversation. A sample exchange from my afternoon in the lab:

My Favorite Technician: So, what ever happened with that experiment from last week?
Me: The experiment aided in the elucidation of a variety of critical system parameters.
MFT: Say what?
Me: The ground-breaking results have significant potential to impact the lives of millions of patients worldwide and to transform the ways in which we view modern medicine.
MFT: Give me some of that cheap weed that you've been smoking.

Don't worry- I'm trying hard to reintroduce normal English words back into my spoken vocabulary.

*Still no proof that more than one man reads this blog. I guess I haven't been writing enough about manly topics, such as my picks for the 2008-2009 hockey season or how to cook the perfect strip of bacon.